"It's Time to Die!" "No, not I!"

November 3, 2009 § 2 Comments

If you were about to die, and you knew it, what would be the one thing in the world you would focus on the most?  If your life was about to end forever, what would you admire, what would you recall, what would you contemplate?

According to my REM cycle, I’d admire my MAC make-up brushes.  That’s right.  MAC. MAC

Let me explain.  I had a dream last night.  In it, I was sitting on the front porch of my house during the night time.  It was dark and cold outside.  I remember looking at the stars.  I could see a lot of the different constellations.  I was there with about half of my family.  I remember Dad was there.  Not sure who else.  Mom was at CVS, down the street, for some reason.  We were sitting on the front porch because we were watching flood waters rise in the streets.  We knew we were going to die.  It was a matter of mere minutes before the waters rose up and covered us.  I was resigned to this death.  I was afraid but I knew there was absolutely nothing I could do to stop it.  I sat on the steps, thought about how dark and cold the water would be and how I hated the idea of drowning.  Then I looked down at my hands and discovered I was holding all of my MAC make-up brushes.  I stared at them for a few minutes, pondering the uses of each (eye shadow brush, foundation brush, fan brush for blush, etc…)  In the dream, I quite clearly spoke out loud and said that at least I’d had an opportunity to use my MAC brushes before I had to die.  The waters lapped at my feet. 

I shook myself awake at around 4 AM.  And promptly burst into (silent) laughter for such an absurdly shallow and nonsensical dream!  What was I doing?? Thinking about make-up brushes when death was at hand!?  Why was I not praying??  Why wasn’t I remembering Danny and the love we shared??  Or why wasn’t I trying to rescue my siblings??  That’s something that struck me the most about this dream, because 99% of the time when I have ‘bad dreams’ it’s because I’m trying to rescue my little brothers and sisters from some terrible fate and I just can’t do it in time.  But no, I merely sat there and ran my fingers over the bristles of #217 Blending Brush, waiting for death.

Ah well.  It got me thinking.  I was driving into work, still chortling at my absurdity, and also feeling grateful that I do not have to fear ‘death’.  I might sometimes fear the finality with which we feeble-minded humans view death, but as a practicing Catholic, I just keep reminding myself that it’s only the beginning.  Like my favorite quote from The Chronicles of Narnia:

“All their life in this world and all their adventures in Narnia had only been the cover and the title page; now at last they were beginning Chapter One of the Great Story which no one on earth has read: which goes on forever: in which every chapter is better than the one before.” Chronicles of Narnia- The Last Battle. 

There is no reason for me to fear death.  It is a doorway to Christ.  This life, these struggles, they will fall away.  Death is not something I should fear, but a reality I should long for, as the proper next step in my life as a baptized child of God.  And if I live my life as Christ intended, who knows?  Perhaps I can be the first patron saint of make-up artists!  Dude.  Yes!

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§ 2 Responses to "It's Time to Die!" "No, not I!"

  • Jaci says:

    I just spit out coffee through my nose.

    And, by the way, I am probably the only person in the world who recognizes the origin of your title entry.

  • shortside40 says:

    Haha I was going to put something at the bottom about how if you knew the quotation, you got a prize, but then I realized that would mean I’d have to think of a prize, get a prize, and mail a prize. So I skipped it. But here’s a smiley for you!! 🙂

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