February 10, 2010 § Leave a comment
For your entertainment (Part 1), I’ve copied an email I sent to my co-workers this morning, after I attempted to safely drive to work in the falling snow:
I’d just like to give a shout-out to all 5 plows of NEPA, who successfully managed to be out and on the roads since yesterday at 10PM and yet have contributed what seems to me to be absolutely nothing to the safety of said roads. I hope we all are remembering the cardinal rule of NEPA, which is to allow yourself 10 extra minutes of travel time when the roads are snow-covered. 5 minutes for yourself when you need to drive slowly over the slush and snow, even though you could swear that there is a PLOW not 20 feet in front of you… and the other 5 minutes for that ever-present marvel of the snow-covered road: the person who SLOWS DOWN WHEN GOING UP A SNOW COVERED HILL. The principles of gravity are not taught in our school systems apparently.
PS- OH! Let’s not forget my FAVORITE snow-covered road driving person: the LAZY FOOL who leaves a huge slab of snow on the roof of his car so that as soon as he gets beyond 15 miles an hour and stops slowing down going uphill, the huge slab of snow will fall off the back of his car, DIRECTLY into the path of the next vehicle!! Which will, inevitably, be me.
Hope you all liked it, I certainly meant every word. Seriously, people, does the concept of gravity elude your grasping minds?? When you drive UP a hill, you need to keep your speed up so that you do not slide back DOWN the hill! Ajioftuje8tu493fjwekafjkladfjafIamhavingaconniption!!
And while I’m on the subject of things that make me angry… let’s talk about Sunday’s hockey game between the Capitals and the Penguins. Pens lost 5-4. They were winning 4-1 at one point. It was excruciatingly disappointing to watch them lose, especially since Alex Ovechkin is a huge snotbag. Seriously, Ovie, keep your stick away from people’s necks when you check them and maybe I’ll have some respect for you! GAH. All in all, there was a lot of fast skating and stickwork, some great hits, and amazing goals. It was a great game to watch on TV, and that can’t be said for very many hockey games. The way Crosby knew exactly how to hold and drag the puck past Theodore for his second goal that night… Ah, just thinking of it makes me breathe a sigh of relief. Remember, Ovie: Crosby’s got a ring. What do you have? AN UGLY NOSE.
For your entertainment (Part 2):