The Great Bite Shark (SCF 2011)
June 2, 2011 § 1 Comment
You know that famous scene from the hockey movie Miracle? Where Herb Brooks has finally grown sick and tired of his whiny snots of players and he skates them until they puke? And they realize something: it’s not the name on the back of the jersey that counts. It’s the name on the front. If I had to guess, I’d say Alex Burrows took that to heart last night. If I were thinking of ways to emphasize the shark on the front of my jersey, biting my opponents is the first thing that comes to mind!
That being said, if you watched any of Game 1 of the Stanley Cup Finals last night (Vancouver won 1-0 against Boston), or saw highlights, you will have heard about this. The Biting Incident of 2011. I saw it. I read about it. I also heard the two players involved (Patrice Bergeron and the aforementioned Alex Burrows) being interviewed on it. It went something like this (condensed for your benefit):
Patrice: “He bit me! He bit my finger!”
Alex: “He stuck it in my mouth!”
Patrice: “I mean, come on!”
Meanwhile, somewhere in an old dive bar filled with smoke and memories, Brendan Shanahan turns off his TV and heaves a sigh. Time to get to work.
Biting’s pretty ridiculous, you know. I know it’s the heat of the moment and they’re scrumming behind the net and Patrice certainly isn’t being careful with his hand placement, but still. It’s not like biting is an involuntary reflex. If someone shoved a sweaty, smelly hockey gloved finger in my mouth (without my prior approval), I would seriously hope my first reaction is to spit it out, not bite down. Agree? Disagree? Is biting a better way of getting a finger removed from your mouth?
From the other side though: seriously, Patrice? He bit you through a padded hockey glove. This isn’t Gollum biting off Frodo’s finger as they battled precariously on the edge of Mount Doom. No one held your bloody severed finger aloft and cackled deliriously. And no one is going to write a song about you called “9 Fingered Patrice”. You just sit down and shut up until you’ve traversed the plains of Emyn Muil. Agree? Disagree? Did Patrice suffer more than Frodo?
And the award for the hockey post with the greatest (and most) biting/mouth/teeth puns in it goes to CBC.ca!! Read and thank me in the comments.
This game was amazing to watch. Only one goal scored, but I’ve always been a fan of the goaltender showdown. Tim Thomas and Roberto Luongo dueled the night away from opposite ends of the ice and it was oh-so-pretty to see. To me, it doesn’t get much better than seeing a stacked pads save or a flashing glove catch. One thing I did notice: Thomas plays so far up in his crease! Wow. He reminded me of Fleury for a few minutes there. I think that if Boston wants to win this series, Thomas is going to have to continue that kind of play. Boston can’t skate or score with the Canucks but if they can shut them down, then we’ll have a series worth watching. Skating and scoring may sound like two, um, rather large components of a hockey game, but the saying is ‘defense wins championships’ for a reason. Keep throwing Chara in front of Luongo all night long. Slow down the Sedins. Don’t let Ryan Kesler pass the puck. Bite Burrows back. I guess this makes it seem like I am rooting for Boston, but I don’t really have a particular allegiance. I think I’d like to see Tim Thomas win, mainly because he’s from Flint, MI, and I know people from that area. I can’t really think of any other reason to be honest. All I know is that Game 1 was a great display of hockey and I can’t wait to see how the rest of this series plays out.
Oh look! NHL.com agrees with me.