Rose’s New Year’s Resolutions

January 3, 2012 § 3 Comments

The moment you’ve all been waiting for!!  In no particular order of importance, here are my resolutions for the year of our Lord 2012:

1. Get some muscle tone.

2. Despite resolution #1, do not spoil my record of having gone to the gym only once in my life.

3.  Continue to eat ice cream at any and all hours of the day and night.  Expand upon my recently-developed love for Turkey Hill’s vanilla with fudge sauce, but do not forget about chocolate peanut butter’s undeniable dominance.

4.  Watch the Penguins win the Stanley Cup (this may or may not be within my power to fulfill).

5.  Start writing more hockey/fashion posts and less about flatworms and my Middle-Earth obsession. 

6.  Beat my own record of having watched 5 X-Files episodes in a row without automatically becoming paranoid that: A. My siblings are genetically altered parasitic flatworms.  B.  Danny is an alien.  C. I have previously been abducted by aliens.  D.  I work with a bunch of aliens.  (B & C may be combined, if you count a 4 year relationship as an abduction, which on some days, is certainly understandable.) 

Flukeman: A half-human, half-flukeworm from the X-Files

A normal day for the flatworms


7.  Speaking of personal records, continue to be unbeaten at Settlers of Catan.  Should be the easiest resolution I make, due to my unfailing ability to whip out my hidden Victory Points just as the hapless person after me thinks they’ve won it.  Oh, how I love crushing their dreams of victory!  

8.  Make a list of ten things I think I would enjoy about San Francisco.  (1. Wind.  I like wind.  2.  The ocean.  3. ………*sob*)

9.  Get better at shooting guns.  Learn more about them.  Be able to empty a clip into the target’s skull from 25 yards without batting a (mascara’d) eyelash.  Quietly spread the word about my abilities around the town.  Walk to the parking garage/my house/the bar in peace and safety, even when it’s dark outside.

10.  Think of a tenth resolution.  While I eat ice cream.


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§ 3 Responses to Rose’s New Year’s Resolutions

  • Genevieve says:

    Which one of the flatworms am I Rose? Also, I heard Daniel beat you the second time, and Daniel ALSO crushed one of my sisters, and I didn’t see it, but I bet it was you AND Cathy. 5 Ex-Files is not very impressive, I’m betting you stopped because the flatworm/flukeman was too much, and it entered your dreams. As I write this you sit at the chair watching MORE X-Files, theres a slurping sound and your going “- gasp gasp – What’s going on? What’s happening?”

    Thank you, I’ll be here for the rest of my life,

  • Genevieve Babetski says:

    Ok I’m sorry! But remember, they had to go back to the hotel, so Daniel was in the lead, so he won!

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