Chocolate Cream Pie Soothes The Nerves

March 9, 2012 § 6 Comments

I decided to make chocolate cream pies this past Wednesday.  The Penguins were playing the Maple Leafs, so I figured it’d be nice to bake while listening to the game online.  I Googled up some pie recipes and was struck by the fact that the first four I found were all different.  I eventually decided to make chocolate cream pie MY way.  Here is what I used:

For the chocolate cream:
8 oz cream cheese (softened)
3/4 cup sugar
1/3 cup cocoa powder
1/3 cup milk
1 tsp vanilla extract

For the whipped cream on top:
1 cup heavy cream
2 tbsp sugar

I combined the cream cheese, sugar, cocoa, milk, and vanilla in our big green mixing bowl and here I made a rookie mistake.  I didn’t stir it together at all before I started in with the beaters.  A huge puff of cocoa powder mushroomed up onto me when the beaters whirled.  I quickly rectified that mistake and my mother graciously pretended it had never happened.  I stirred the powder into the milk and cream cheese, and then beat it until the mixture became nice and fluffy.

 Then I… Well, I- Um…

I have a confession to make, guys.

I… I USED PRE-MADE PIE CRUSTS, OKAY!??  I’m sorry!!!  I don’t know what happened to me!!  I love making crusts!  I’m good at crusts!!  I’m better than my mother at pie crusts!  But I was kinda tired and the thought of all that measuring and the cutting the butter into the flour and then the rolling and the actual MUSCLE EXERTION… I collapsed.  I gave in.  I bought frozen Pillsbury pie shells.  They weren’t bad at all, actually.  You just pop them into the oven for about 9 minutes to thaw, and they tasted good.  Not as good as my homemade crust, I will definitely say that with no qualms.  But for a tired, hardworking girl, they were fine.  (To be specific: they were just a little thinner than I liked, and broke apart easier.  That’s all.  I like lots of crust.  Thick crust.  I am a crust fan.)

Anyway, okay, I feel better with that off my chest.  So where was I? 

Yes, I beat the chocolate mixture until fluffy and then poured it into the pie shells.  (I doubled this recipe to make two pies.  One for my house, and one for my office.  Those dudes I work with are a bunch of lucky men, that’s all I’m saying.) 

After I smoothed the chocolate mixture out, I put both pies in the freezer to chill and harden while I made the whipped cream topping.  I simply beat the heavy cream and sugar together util soft peaks formed.  This took a couple of minutes, during which time the Leafs scored twice on the Penguins.  I restrained my anger in case the pies could sense it and become bitter. 

Then I pulled the pies out of the freezer and spread the whipped cream on top.  I was going to garnish it with chocolate syrup but we didn’t have any.  (Inexcusable, Mom, okay??) 

Then I decided that the all-white top looked pretty.  Kind of like the sweeping frozen tundra of the Arctic, which is where I wanted to exile all the Penguins players until someone learned how to score a goal.

I popped both pies back in the freezer and gave them a good hour to chill.  Mom and I devoured slices later while watching an X Files episode where Mulder and Scully bash the Cigarette-Smoking Man over the head with a folding chair.

Oh no, wait sorry, that’s just what I wanted them to do.  In reality, the CSM played them like the pawns that they were to him.  The chocolate cream pie was great though.  It had hardened enough that it was almost like chocolate and vanilla ice cream pie.  Just a little softer.  If you don’t want that, then I suggest just chilling the pie in your fridge, not the freezer. 

I love Fox Mulder.  And chocolate cream pies.  And the Penguins when they come back to win hockey games.

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