A Long Walk Off A Short Text

May 30, 2012 § 10 Comments

Some time ago, I was perusing the (not often) useful and (always) entertaining headlines of Yahoo.com, when I came across a very timely article.  After much research, the powers that be have discovered that people who text while they walk are prone to injury!  Some people have walked into fountains, traffic, and even into a lake (fell right off a pier!), all due to this phenomenon of texting-while-walking.  In fact, a study on people texting-while-walking “found that participants consistently veered away from walking a straight path by a 60 percent deviation.”  And if you’re drunk-texting-while-walking, the deviation (and misspellings) increase exponentially!  There is quite the potential for dangerous accidents to occur. 

With that new and horrifying knowledge in mind, this texts-while-walking person (me, yes, I do it) took it upon herself to wonder:

What would have happened if Frodo had been texting-while-walking-and-walking-and-walking-and-walking to the fiery chasm of Mount Doom!??     

Then I began to wonder:

What if Neville had been texting-while-walking his heroic way through the battle-filled halls of Hogwarts!??

Another terrifying thought occurred to me:

What if Edward had been texting-while-gliding-like-a-glistening-stone-cold-statue-of-ivory-on-wheels as he lured Bella deep into the towering, ancient forests of Washington!??

To sum it all up: Put down your phones, kids, and PAY ATTENTION. You never know when you’ll miss a step and send yourself (and your brand new iPhone) sprawling into the street in front of an oncoming car whose driver isn’t paying attention because they are texting-while-driving.

But that’s a study for another post…

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§ 10 Responses to A Long Walk Off A Short Text

  • Genevieve says:

    Epic blog post! Another great paint adventure!

  • Frodo says:

    Rose, I thank you for showing me what may have happened if I had pulled out my phone just then, thank you. I cannot wait to taste your strawberries 🙂

  • Angela B. says:

    Awesome post, Rose!

    The other day I happened to be considering what text conversations in the Bible would’ve been like…

    MARY: hey hun, Jesus w/ u?

    JOSEPH: Uhhh… noo… haha jk he’s here

    MARY: lol good one

    JOSEPH: okay wait i thought he was here… um u sure he’s not w/ u??

    MARY: omg seriously?? no he’s not w/ me!! omg u dont think we left him…in jruslm do u????

    JOSEPH: we better go back n check…

  • Angela B. says:

    JESUS (to Peter, James and John): dude i can see u guys sleeping over there… hello?? sweating blood here!!

    PETER (after “new text” sound rouses him from slumber): sorry bro, just restin my eyes. n hey bout b4, c’mon man u no i’d never deny u

    JESUS: whatevs. u’ll c 4 urself bro

  • Angela B. says:

    JUDAS (to Jesus and the other 11): guys i gave back the $$ where u guys at?

    (an hour later)
    JUDAS: guys?? cmon bros

    (an hour later)
    JUDAS: any1??

    (an hour later)
    JUDAS: dis is ****ed up bros u guys wont even gimme a chance to explain im so p***ed rite now!!@#!
    JUDAS: fine if no1 wants 2 talk 2 me ill just deal w/ it. u guys r all like my parents u never liked me u never understood my problems!! F U all

  • Angela B. says:

    And in honor of the Feast of the Visitation, which we celebrate today, May 31st…

    MARY: hey cuz, a lil birdie just told me ur preggers!!!! is it for real???

    ELIZABETH: yesss!! can u believe it?? u need to come out for a visit!

    MARY: totes! i can leave tmrw! i have a lil surprise of my own u kno…

    ELIZABETH: …that was weird. the baby just kicked like WHOA.

  • shortside40 says:

    HAHAHAHAA Ange I just laughed out loud so hard I snorted!!!! You should put more together and email them to me and I will draw them in i-Phone format (as above) and post them!!!! Hahahaa my snorting laughter is still occurring.

  • Angela B. says:

    Hahaha, I’m glad you liked them! I admit I was laughing out loud at myself as I wrote them 😉 I’ll see if I can come up with some more whenever the creative juices are flowing again…

  • Angela B. says:

    PS – You understood the end of the Visitation one, right?? The last line? Cathy got it and she LOST it, she was laughing so hard. But Greg didn’t get it, the bum…

  • shortside40 says:

    Of course I got it!!!! I laughed so hard.

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