August 6, 2015 § Leave a comment
“You have made us for Yourself, oh Lord
And our hearts are restless until they rest in You”
– Saint Augustine
-I’ve been a little morose lately, and despite my best efforts, I can’t find the right words to write a deep, insightful blog post, so I will just say this quick summary: John and I broke up, not because of anything wrong or terrible, but just because we are, in our faith and beliefs, very different people. It was not easy, even though we’d only been together for one month. It was hard and sad, and I’m really getting sick of the ‘right thing to do’ always being the hardest thing to do, but it was right. He is a wonderful guy and honestly I have so much respect for him, even more so since he called me a few days ago to make sure I knew he didn’t hate me for ending things, and to tell me he wanted us to still be friendly and on good terms. I was so sad and guilt-stricken for breaking up with him, and I cried a lot, even though I knew it had to happen. So when he called me, it was such a sweet moment of grace and forgiveness, it made up for the whole past week of feeling like utter garbage for hurting someone’s heart. He’s a good man. I feel like I can go out to Michigan this weekend with a lighter heart now.
-Yes, that’s right, I’m visiting my favorite flatland this week! Friday through Tuesday, I’ll be in the Mitten. They’re having a memorial Mass and ceremony for baby Cecilia on Sunday, so I wanted to get out there for that, of course. Also, Catherine and Matthew have made it clear we are going to make a day trip to Sleeping Bear Dunes State Park, and it’s going to be epic. Those crazy kids.
-Yesterday night was Wednesday- okay, all day was Wednesday- which means hot yoga!! It really astonishes me sometimes, to see how much I enjoy this crazy killer workout every week. Just once a week, though. I’m still lazy as heck. People don’t think of yoga as a workout, but the hot yoga class I take is intense. You move from pose to pose within a few seconds, which means you’re constantly stretching your muscles to their limit. I can do almost ten push-ups now. (Generally I collapse after 7 or 8.) If I ever need evidence that God puts things in our life just when we realllly need them, all I have to do is look at hot yoga, and my friend Erica, who introduced it to me.
-I splurged a little bit on myself a few weeks ago and bought a Kindle Fire 6. My laptop was old and decrepit, but I didn’t feel like I needed to invest in another laptop. I stare at a computer all day at the office, so the last thing I want to do when I leave work is stare at another screen. But I wanted something, just for those times when I watch Netflix in my bed (hi, Firefly!) and write blog posts. After a little research, I got the Kindle Fire 6 and I really like it! It’s a perfect size for watching shows, and my brother has a wireless keyboard I can sync to it for writing. You can also set up multiple profiles, which means I’m going to set one up for my mother so she can listen to the Toronto Maple Leafs games online no matter where she is in the house! (Although one wonders why she willingly subjects herself to the agony and angst of being a Leafs fan….one truly wonders.) It’s at odd moments like this when I’ll suddenly miss Danny: when I opened the Kindle Fire and started playing around with it, when I was browsing Amazon’s site to see which tablet would fit what I needed… he was so into stuff like that and it was always fun to hear him discourse on the pros and cons of a dozen different electronic items. (I was just thinking… is it wrong of me to say I miss Danny still? I’ve healed, I know that. But I *did* miss him; I couldn’t help it. It wasn’t a heartbreaking feeling, just a “man I wish I could ask Danny his opinion on this”. A holdover remnant of 6 years of reluctant Best Buy visits and technology talk. I think it isn’t wrong, because I didn’t miss him in a romantic way. I missed him in a best friend way, which is totally understandable because he *was* my best friend, for many years. All right, I feel better now.)
-Speaking of splurging on myself, have I mentioned me and Channing are going to Costa Rica in November!?!? Yes, that sentence deserves all that punctuation. Our friend Jess lives in a little town on the west coast of Costa Rica, and we’re visiting her for 5 days. I found us a great deal out of Newark airport- non-stop both ways!- and into San Jose. I think we’ll probably spend our last night in the city. You can see the ocean from Jess’ apartment. I cannot wait to just be lazy in the sun and sand all week long. Okay, maybe I’ll do a little snorkeling or some ocean activity, too. Please keep an eye out for all our pictures, which will be flooding Instagram and Facebook under the hashtags #tammytanlines and #sallysunburn. (You all know which one I am.)
Well, I’m not really in the mood to wax all philosophical, but I wanted to post something. I felt like I needed to write. So this post is a bit more diary-like than I usually want my blog to be, but *shrug*. They can’t all be Pulitzer winners.